*[printed all rights reserved]
my story, truth? mispelled words and all...
well... soooooooooo what
there are lots of poor people
i am not choosing poverty,
it has chosen me.
since a young child i have endeavored to do well and best in my pursuits
but poverty catches me before anyone else promotes or sponsors me.
is it luck?
am i blessed that way?
i could not answer that since I know God gives bounty and likes us to
have what we lust after.
Credit...
not long after i rolled my blue toyota was the period of time i stopped
asking for credit.
my soul was sick and i needed help...
i would wander from one place to another looking for work
i was socially outcast... yet a believer in God and His blessings.
Charity seem to come my way... so i invested in it as i went along
like a person recyles used items.
i don't like trouble and generally have found that staying out of trouble is
a happier way... though that is not the complete story.
i have found my self showing a card in hand as credit knowing
that it was zero and coming away feeling bad, because i had nothing...
that is not a pattern just what was happening at the end of the travel
to no where.
having established a nice life with family and station.. i came home to a man
who had lost his job and we became disadvantaged.
there was no pick up to station or jobs after that.
that year i had been catapolted to several successes on my way
to top performance in music.
after i did major music performances and better than my peers.
and elected officer in schools, i came back to the same poverty over
30 plus.
i had written alot of music but instead of continuing in that vein, i
waited to see if there would be a response, but there was none,
i began to notice later that alot of people made, so called, money
off songs and commercials and stuff, i marched over to the music guild
and could afford to pay membership.
even though world accepted styles were taught to me in sounds
and projection, and passing auditions and major performances,
i would come down from the stage, still no offers for any music contracts.
the day jobs were the usual clerical or clinical types and barely paid rent
with little to spare, but alast, no job and nothing to spare.
what was my childhood like.
poor, but not beggarly,
coming home to peanut butter ,donuts, soda crackers until grandmothers house.
i was not watched much nor was i helped me with my homework.
off to academy at 13 and two years and three summers later to the
baby sitting job as partial cook, cleaner and sitter.
afterwhich i took finished my last two high school years periodilcally
with a g.e.d. and midst that i worked as a nurse aid, and a public utility clerk.
a day job and an occaisional appearance for music became the norm after
35 wherein i had a lovely relationship with God and felt secure in What he is
in my time.
i did not require money of my parents although i had asked my dad to help with my honeymoon.
i had not dated much before i met my husband and i was not a risk taker like the girls in the office where i worked.... even the nurses were faster than i.
this is not an envious life, i made my clothes until my kids were no longer babies..
made 3.5 gpa even alpha gamma.... at one of the colleges.....
when i knew i was poor indefinitely, though, i went to career school.
what is there to learn from being poor,
you find that if you do not have money you always compensate. the compensation
should lead to inventions, because you find your ideas make market and commercials
but you have no patents for great ideas and no one would believe you if you
made an art design that became a famous bathtub, or that you spoke of glow jewelry before the 80's.
by the time i was forty i had written my songs and taken them to sing for 500 women at a world conference... but guess what, it didn't click... not a letter, not a call about my success or songs.
i invested in alot of what i called study of God and songs so my time was well spent and
in the face of books from early 20's.
as i worked with others, i found that i got no further behind or ahead and since i had made no determination to be rich although my professors surely did find me center stage all the time and students thought it was great.
there was not alot of pressure to succeed because i was already well advanced, but
the pressures of lack of money or resources always stayed with me like a 20 pound weight on each leg.
i thought after my last HURRAH, on stages in the u.s.a. that prime time wanted to sell a release of my story, but i could not see that even as a solution to my problem.
the star news printed my picture, they solicited the attention.
what to do if poverty happens to you...
you must not fall into the element of crime that suggests quick meny skeems.
do not let fear seize you and your normal pattern just know that if poverty is a kicker
it kicks anyone who is down. and people who prey upon the poor are those who
turn there nose up at anyone who might not be able to pay their way short term or long.
I am telling what this is like, but i have been a writer for over 30 years starting with the music, and in the music i tried to tell people there what it was like too.
i.e.there's a task to complete there's each hour you must meet the temptations,
that confront you every day, and there is a God who will make for us a path that
we can follow when we say. by the grace of God with his own strong hand i will do this by the grace of God's own hand.
Finding in God the Will to power, for he has power and authority over everything,
i would pray resolute to my situtation.
The betrayal in this story is life itself... for life has dictated to every human being,
is prone to fail once failed and prone to stay down once knocked out.
i have done bad things, but once the Lord got me out of them, i strived to fight the devil all the way.
it was hopeless and seemed no one would ever care...my children were now growing and all the dress making, house keeping, school going and improvements would not
hold my house together....
i do not get into the relationship about my husband because the confusion around who he is was based on his college degree saying one thing, but his choices in work showed he had a different direction then i though he had, since no rhetoric was between us after my baby was ten, i could do nothing but guess.
the harm i did anybody was not brought to me like what i felt i did to my own kids... it was not neglect, it was outright divorce TOTAL CUT OFF for the kids... no money and
fear of them being in the streets i let them go to their grandparents.... what the same scenario of my latch key life.
weak eyed people ignored my life and let me slide through the great performance... i was the character in the opera THE TRUE LIFE OPERA... and the passersby heard the songs, saw the effort and care ... and to most of them it was" ho hum" to bad for you.
i will get on with life... there are still articles that i can write... maybe someone will take
courage and live their life inspite of the cliches spoken by people who never suffered the same...
all in all, i have not neglected to live this life, what it is, I HAVE LIVED IT, MY NAME IS claudia humphrey, and i am a missionary.
[printed under" MY SIN" at some point(c) on line all rights reserved]
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